AI writing detectors like GPTZero and OpenAI's Text Classifier frequently misidentify human-written classics such as the US Constitution as AI-generated, exposing critical flaws in their underlying technology. Experts reveal these tools rely on unreliable metrics like perplexity and burstiness, leading to high false positive rates that unfairly target students and non-native English speakers. As educators grapple with AI's role in academia, the push for detection may be a misguided solution to a deeper pedagogical challenge.